I like how you bring the energy right down in the track then Build it back up again. Good use of dynamics, makes the track feel like a journey. Now im no expert on how orchestra tracks are mixed but it did sound ok to me but i felt the high pitched instrument at around 5.00 is too loud . A couple of other issues, one being that its too long ..If your gonna make something this long imo you need some different themes going on to keep the listener interested. Like something that contrasts to what you already have, whether it be a modulation or a change in direction.
It is pretty cheesey which is fine if you go in for that :) 4/5